Ramblings Go Here

As I look around, trying to get a grip on where I am and regain my focus through the blaring klaxxon going off, not to mention the, what I can only imagine are looks of utter surprise on faces of the owners of the craft I am now on, I realize that this was a hell of a day to quit drinking. Quickly, I dive between two of the beings, running as fast as my legs will carry me down a hallway across from me. I have no idea where it goes, but it is sure as hell better than where I am standing now. Left turn, right turn, left turn, left turn, I run down hall after hall. Past countless aliens that part like the red sea as I approach. Finally I see a viewport up ahead. As I run up to it, I see that beautiful blue ball I love to call home. I notice what looks like the east coast of the US, moreover, what must be new york. But just as I focus on it to make my escape, I feel a sharp pain in the back of my head. I wake up and quickly jump to my feet. Looking around in a panic, I realize that I am in

Submission 1 “Great Holy Zorkins, what the Rmock? Groong, get in here right now!” The bulbous green head snaked on it's long skinny neck down next to what I guess was a communicator on its lapel, and it lowered its voice to an insistent, panicked hiss, “It's here. It's actually here on the ship!” My eyes rocketed around the room, calmly assessing threats in the situationally appropriate manner of a laser pointer directed by an epileptic seizure. I strategically activated my teleportation powers by accident, crashing into a wall and some kind of bizarre Escher sculpture that my shins realized was a chair. “Okay just calm down. CALM THE BRIZZIK DOWN. We're all calm here! See?” The snakey space fiend in front of me curled its tentacles in a slow wave, with a noticeable jittery shakiness in it. It slithered a tentative inch forward. Maybe diplomacy would work. “Get away from me! Not one inch closer or by Jove I'll rip those tentacles off and play jump rope!” I glanced o